


Working Out the Math

by bemylant3rn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Kids, M/M, Sort of an AU, Young Love, x factor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 05:14:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bemylant3rn/pseuds/bemylant3rn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry have know each other since they were little kids. They made a promise, but it was so easily broken as the years went on. Eventually, fate throws them together again, creating the 4 times they confess their love, and the 2 times they attempted to publicly acknowledge it. <br/>From young love, to X factor, to world tours, these boys have been through everything together. They will find out if time can really mend all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Working Out the Math

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I have re read this so many times, that it's getting hard to catch mistakes, so I'm sorry if I missed any! This is sort of an AU so I know the timeline will not match up exactly. Make sure to leave kudos if you liked it and let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it :)

Harry looked out the window, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the next-door neighbor’s car. His small hands pressed flat against the windowpane, his breath fogging up the glass slightly as the puffs of air hit the cool surface. The small five year olds eyes grew large and a smile spread across his face as he watched the blue van pull into the driveway.  
“Mum, mum, mum! Louis is home, can I go over now?” the boy mused.   
He hears his mother laugh before she grants him approval on the term that he comes back before dark. Harry grabbed a sweatshirt before toddling out the door to his best friends house. It was harder for Harry now, since he has known Louis practically all of his life, but now the two boys were separated all day because Louis, being 8, no longer went to school with Harry now. Harry walked up the stairs and through the back door, which he was always welcome to come through, and he dropped his extra layers on the chair by the door before venturing into the rest of the house. He walked into the living room to see a woman holding a small girl in her arms.  
“Hi Aunty Jay,” Harry called to the woman.   
“Hello Harry. Louis is upstairs, sweetheart,” she answered over her shoulder while she tried to control the squirming girl.   
Once Harry reached Louis’ room, he tentatively opened the door to see Louis bouncing his head to the quite music he had playing.  
“Hi Louis,” he said, just loud enough to catch the older boys attention.   
As Louis turned to face the round faced, curly haired boy, he broke out into a grin.   
“Hi Hazza”.  
Everything was easy between the two boys. The age gap never mattered; Harry was always acting old for his age anyway. They would play cars, or snuggle and watch TV, or even just lie on the grass together and stare at the stars. After checking in with his mum, Harry lay on the grass, cuddled into Louis’ side under the shared blanket.   
“Louis?” he said quietly.  
“Yeah, Haz?”  
“We’ll always be best friends, right?”  
“Always, Haz, of course”.  
Harry snuggled in tighter, “My mum and dad always tell each other ‘I love you’. Do you love me, Louis?”  
There was a long pause, “Yeah Haz, I do love you. Always gonna be you and me,” he responded.  
The boys fell asleep there, smiling as they often did, with the promise of you and I forever. 

Harry quickly shoved the last bite of his bagel into his mouth before grabbing his backpack. As a 10 year old, he could now make his own outfit choices, which explained his current dark ensemble complete with one of his dad’s old band t-shirts. He walked next door for his usual ride to school, catching Louis and Jay just as they were walking out the door. Now 13-year-old Louis often dressed in bright colors. Red pants, stripped shirts and toms. The boys couldn’t look more different, but they couldn’t be closer. Louis had been there when Harry’s parents had gotten divorced. He stroked his hair and dried his tears as his small sobs shook his body. Harry reciprocated when Louis was put into the same situation, gathering the older yet smaller boy into his arms and rocking until they both fell asleep. Harry supported Louis when earlier this year he admitted he thought someone was cute and he had a crush on him. And Harry cried with him and comforted him when he admitted it was a boy.  
Now the boys went to school next door to each other so they would carpool every morning. Louis was now well involved in theater and Harry quite enjoyed being alone and learning to play guitar. The boys would still curl up into each other, falling asleep, promising you and I forever.  
“Louis?”  
“Yeah Haz?”  
“I still love you, you know,” he whispered.  
“I know, I still love you too,” Louis responded.  
Harry smiled as he feels Louis press a small kiss into his hair before he drifted off to sleep.

4 years later and both of the boys were in the same school now. Maybe a quick hi and a shy smile shared in the hallway, but who was Harry kidding? The ever so popular and perfect Louis Tomlinson would never spend time in school with the dark mysterious Harry Styles at school. There differences had only grown over time, Louis in the theater, star of all the shows, heartthrob as Danny with cute boyfriend Aiden on his arm. Harry was in the back, in rough garage band singing and playing guitar, sporting his skin tight black skinnies and band t-shirts, maybe even a little bit of black eye liner.  
But even after all heir differences, Harry hated it. He hated how he could try as hard as he could and never ignore Louis. He hated how easy he found it to crawl back and cry into Louis’ shirt after his first break up at age 15. He hated how familiar and right it felt being held in his arms with Louis’ quite voice comforting him. He hated that he cried, not because the break up broke him, but because it didn’t affect him at all. That night was one of the last times the boys talked, avoiding eye contact in the hallways, no more nights under the stars. The only thing left of them was the broken promise of you and I.   
Harry still found himself whispering at night, “Louis, you know I still love you, right? Do you?”

“You are going to be amazing, Harry!” his mum encouraged. Harry rolled his eyes as he looked as his mother and sister dawning shirts with his name and words of enthusiastic encouragement scrawled across them. Harry checked himself in the mirror one more time. For a 16, almost 17, year old, he looked way past his years. He had eyeliner extenuating his bright green eyes, tattoos poking out from the collar and sleeves of his loose shirt. His black pants were practically painted on as usual. His ears had a few piercings, along with his lip. And when he tilted his head back to laugh, one could possibly catch a glimpse of his silver tongue stud. People would make whatever assumptions they would like, but Harry didn’t care anymore. He was actually a genuine, Happy, funny, kind person who just happened to express himself a little differently.   
Harry took a deep breath before walking onstage and letting everything turn into a blur. All he knows is that he made it because his family is jumping him and engulfing him in an embrace. He looked into the bathroom mirror, splashing water on his face, unable to wash the smile off. He was suddenly jolted forward as someone bumped into him from behind.  
“Oops”.  
Harry turned, wiping off his face. His words were caught in his throat as he met the eyes of the guy behind him.   
“Hi,” he finally choked out, staring at Harry.   
“Uh, hi, um, wow… I didn’t know you were - ”  
“Yeah, you either”.  
Harry just nodded slowly, anger brewing inside him for some reason.  
“Did you make - ”  
“Yeah, you?”  
“Yeah”.  
Another long, awkward pause until the boy finally spoke again.  
“So do you want to maybe sit with - ”  
“You?” Harry finished, “Honestly, no. Why now, Lou? We’ve done a great job ignoring each other for the last few years. Why break the trend now?” he asked aggressively before flinging the door open and walking out.  
He felt a hot tear threated to streak down his cheek, but quickly wiped it away.   
It hurt, it physically hurt Harry as he watched Louis sing and was around him so often now. And it broke his heart as he watched Louis cry when they both got the news that their journeys were coming to an end. Harry felt the hot tears stain his cheeks yet again, but he just let them fall this time. He cried for himself and he cried for the small chestnut haired boy in front of him that he still had feelings for. Then another blur. 5 boys on stage, breath being held, the big news delivered, and before Harry knew it, he was yet again finding himself emotional in Louis’ arms. But Harry still felt that sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.  
Throughout the commotion, the boys grew pretty close to each other. Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall, and Louis were all close. Well almost all. On screen, Harry acted as though Louis was his favorite person, best of friends. But when no one was looking, they barely ever talked. The sad part of the situation was that the only time Harry ever felt like he was expressing his honest feelings was when he was on camera. The other boys could tell there was something wrong, but wouldn’t say anything for fear of stirring up negative drama. 

Harry didn’t think any of the boys expected the next year of their lives. 3rd place, a single, a tour, and he could barely enjoy any of it. There were 4 times that the two boys fell back on old habits. 4 times when they found each other in a familiar position again. The first time was the night they officially got signed.   
They were all drunk, and Harry couldn’t avoid their connection anymore. Harry found himself outside the club, practically shivering in the cold air. Louis had come moments earlier and stood next to him. Louis finally broke the silence.  
“Harry, I miss you,” he said.   
“You’re drunk”.  
“Yeah, but drunks tell the truth, you know,” Louis responded, looking directly at Harry.  
Harry rolled his eyes, but nodded.   
“So yeah, I miss you,” Louis restated.   
“Mhm, still drunk”.  
“But you’re drunk to and neither of us are going to remember this tomorrow morning, so why don’t you just tell me the truth for once?” Louis protested, raising his voice slightly, and turning to face Harry.  
There was a silence as Harry leaned his back against the brick wall behind him.  
“Yeah… yeah,” he finally said.  
“Yeah what? Yeah you will tell me the truth?” Louis questioned.  
“Yeah, I miss you,” Harry clarified.  
“Ok”.  
“You and me, Lou,” Harry said quietly, but Louis didn’t hear it over the noise from inside the club as the door opened and someone exited.   
Louis turned back to him, “I never mean to break our promise, you know”.  
“Our - ”  
“Promise, yeah, I remember. Even when I’m drunk”.  
Harry just nodded again, never being a person of many words.  
“I mean, god. It was never supposed to be like this. It was you and me against the world, Haz. What happened? And this… this new life. This could have been a second chance, but even this got fucked up too,” Louis ranted.  
Harry just stared at him. He couldn’t quite comprehend that he was sitting there, listening to the words he had waited so long to hear.   
“I do, Haz. I miss you and I never stopped loving you,” Louis said, as sincerely as he could in his current state, but there was something else there.  
Harry just turned away, “Like you said, neither of us are going to remember this in the morning”.  
Louis laughed bitterly, “I think you forget that I know you better than anyone else. You don’t have to say it, I know the truth”.  
“You don’t know me any more, Louis,” Harry was quick to retort, anger frosting his voice.   
Louis glanced at him one more time before shaking his head and pushing off the wall to make his way back into the club. Harry slid his back down the wall until he hit the ground.   
“Still love you, too,” he whispered.

See the problem was, Harry didn’t forget about it in the morning and that is most likely what lead to the second time. He couldn’t cope, he needed to cope, and his mind was muddled. Girls were apparently the answer in his mind because he started going through them like they were going out of style. Mindless sex in the bathroom of clubs, back at the apartment that he shared with the boys, her place, getting caught by the paps on the way out. People would brush it off, he is almost 18, he could do whatever (or whoever) he wanted. They couldn’t see the hurt in his eyes as he avoided looking any of the girls in the face.  
Some nameless blonde was leaving his room one night when he heard footsteps entering his room again.   
“What did you leave, love?” he asked, not bothering to look at the doorway as he pulled on his shirt.  
“Well in my opinion, I think its you who left something behind. Your dignity, a couple fucking hundred girls ago,” Louis answered angrily.  
“Sorry, I didn’t expect it to be-”  
“Me? I figured. You expected another pretty girl, like the last one. What was her name again?”  
Harry just stared at him, keeping his mouth shut.   
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. My fucking god, Haz. Do you even think anymore? We are all worried about you, what’s happening?” Louis asked.  
“Please, Louis. You don’t give a shit. Putting a smile on for the cameras, pretending to be so close and all buddy buddy. Nothing has changed the past two years! Hell! Nothing has changed the past 5 fucking years of our lives. I’m still lost and forgotten unless your feelings are masked by a drunken haze. Remember that you are the one that left me behind. Couldn’t be seen with the dark freak. Well news flash, Lou. These rings are still in my face, you still wear red fucking jeans, but we’re both popular now. You got your second chance, and what became of that?” Harry yelled, tears threated to leave his eyes, but he held back as he stared at Louis.   
“Un-fucking-believable. You do you, Haz. You’re right. I don’t give a shit,” Louis said as he turned on his heels and stalked away.   
But Harry knew it was all a lie. He knew he was just as much at fault for their messed up relationship. He knew that rant was just as much pointed at himself as it was at Louis. And he knew Louis cared. He could see it in his eyes. Louis was right, they knew each other better than anyone. Even after all of these years.

“So Harry, you and Louis knew each other before the competition, right?” the interviewer asked.  
“Friends since childhood. The two opposites that somehow fit together, huh Haz?” Louis answered for him with that plastered on, fake smile.   
“Yeah, you would never guess we would go together,” Harry answered.  
And this is how it went. Smiles in interviews, glances during shows, cold shoulders at home and on the bus. They weren’t even aggressive towards each other. There was just nothing, and this made Harry even more upset because he had so much bottled up that he just wanted to let himself feel something.   
This lead to incident number 3, which featured copious amounts of alcohol and a sober Louis. They were home, on a break, and Harry snapped. When Louis found him, he was on the couch about ¾ of the way through a bottle of whatever liquor he got his hands on.   
“Harry, what the fuck?”  
“I’m done, Louis. Done holding it all in. Felt like I was gonna pop,” Harry said, hitting the p extra hard.   
“What are you on about?”  
“What do you want me to say? The truth? Fine! I miss you, I love you, never stopped, always have. No denying it now!”  
“You’re drunk, Harry,” Louis stated flatly.  
“Funny how that seems to be a common factor when the truth comes out between us,” Harry said, casually.   
“Is that what this is about? I don’t care anymore, remember?” Louis asked.   
“Don’t fucking lie to me, Louis. I’m drunk, but I’m not stupid. We both know that we feel the same. I was scared to admit it but hey, now is as good a times as ever”.  
“Don’t say anything you are going to regret,” Louis warned with dark eyes.   
“No regret anymore. Lost all my dignity, remember?”   
Louis stared at him from where he was sitting on the arm of the couch, his feet in the cushion.  
“Come on, Lou!” he said, crawling closer, “You know, you have to know all of those girls meant nothing. I was stupid and hiding myself. Hell, the only time I’ve ever been honest is when I’m drunk or on camera and we both know that, no matter how hard we try to deny it”.  
“Are you quite finished?” Louis asked, his anger still evident.   
“Lou, please. Just this, us, let it be,” Harry begged.  
“You’re drunk,” Louis repeated.  
“But slowly sobering up now. Louis just… I can’t keep living like we are. It kills me, every night, falling asleep, wishing I was 5 years old again looking up at the stare, cuddled under the blanket with you. Before we broke that promise that I know you remember. Before everything got fucked up and now look where we are? I just-”  
Harry was cut off as Louis surged forward, connecting their lips in a chaste kiss. It lasted just to long to not mean anything and when they pulled away it was almost impossible not to fall back into that familiar way again.  
“Still love you, Lou,” Harry whispered.  
“I’m sorry,” Louis said, backing away and exiting the room quickly. Harry was left, yet again, with the feeling of hot tears rolling down his cheek. He didn’t wipe them away. He just rocked, pretending he was being held like he used to, even though there was no one there to muffle his sobs.   
After that little trip down memory lane and well, the kiss, Harry was ready to admit his feelings to himself. He no longer attempted to avoid Louis’ gaze, instead he met it, holding the stare until Louis made himself look away. He could tell the tension was driving Louis to the point of insanity, but he kept up the behavior until he got what he wanted. This lead to the fourth incident.   
“Harry, this has to stop”.  
“What?” Harry asked innocently.  
“You know what, ok?”  
“Fine, I do. But Lou, you can’t just kiss me and then run away!” Harry argued.   
“We can’t do this,” Louis said, attempting to brush the younger boy off.   
“What? Love each other? Cuz it’s a little too late for that, around 13 years late, actually”.  
“Harry, if you have forgotten, we are center of the public eye. Rumors about us are one thing, but actually being together is different,” Louis not so politely pointed out.   
“So you do want to be with me,” Harry stated.  
“I never said that,” Louis insisted.   
“Come on, Lou! You’re already out and people love you! What’s the big deal?”  
“The big deal? Really? You’re gonna give me this shit? Two members of the biggest boy band in the world dating. The press would have a field day! And did you forget that you’ve been sleeping with every breathing girl the past few months? That’s right… girl!”  
“But Lou, I don’t care about those girls, I don’t care about the press, none of it matters. I just want you. I’m done hiding from myself,” Harry concluded.  
Louis just stared at him and he could see so much compassion in his eyes. It was like he had let a wall down and all his emotions were finally visible.  
“I know,” he said quietly.  
“I do Haz, I want to be with you. I have since we were little. Ever since we used to sit under the stars. Ever since Aiden told me that he could never look at me the way I looked at you. I’ve always been strangely attracted to your punk look,” he paused, laughing.   
“I love you, Lou”.  
Louis looked at him with sad eyes before slowly leaning forward and closing the gap between them. This time, Harry had time to reciprocate the kiss. They moved slowly with purpose, conveying everything they couldn’t say with words. Harry felt Louis’ hands on his waist, his thumb rubbing slow circles in the small piece of exposed skin at his hip. His other hand held his neck, as if to assure him that he wouldn’t pull away. But eventually they pulled away as they ran out of breath.  
“Promise me you wont run this time?” Harry whispered against his lips.   
“Promise. I’m not going anywhere,” Louis assured him.   
After a few quite moments, Louis spoke again.  
“I don’t know how, but we will make this work. We’ll keep it a secret, I don’t know, whatever, I don’t care anymore. I love you, that’s all I care about”.  
“Ok, yeah,” Harry agreed, practically crying at this point.  
“Oh, and Harry?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I lied”.  
Harry looked at him confused.  
“I do give a shit”.

Harry made Louis tell the other boys because there was not way they could hide it from their best friends. They didn’t change their public image at all, but their private behavior was certainly more bearable for everyone involved. And Harry didn’t think words could express how perfect it felt to fall asleep in his loves arms every night. He no longer had to dream about the soft lips that were only in his mind because he could now feel them for real whenever he wanted, well almost whenever.   
The two boys found themselves snuggled up on the couch as they did when they had time and Harry was happy. The happiest he had been in a while. But over the almost year him and Louis had agreed to be together, there was something that was eating away at Harry. It was becoming more prominent as time went on.  
“Lou?” he asked quietly.  
“Mhm? What’s up, love?” Louis asked, turning towards the younger boy.   
“I don’t want to keep it a secret anymore”.  
Louis was quite for a long beat.  
“You know we can’t, Hazza,” he finally answered.   
“But why? Why Louis? I love you and I want everyone to know. If they are our true fans, they won’t care!”  
“It doesn’t matter, Harry. We can’t. Now leave it be,” Louis insisted.  
“No!”  
“Drop it!” Louis said, raising his voice.  
Harry abruptly got up of the couch, “Why? Are you ashamed that we’re together?”  
“You know I’m not, don’t be stup-”  
“I’m not Louis! Because when I said I loved you, and that was all that mattered, I meant it”.  
Harry glared at him one more time before storming out of the room 

This fight leads to the two times they attempted to publicly reference their relationship, no matter how vague it may have been.   
Harry was sat on the interview couch along with the four other boys, trying not to look as upset as he felt because of the fight the night before.  
“So boys!” the interviewer said, “Most fans will probably know the answer to this, but I have to ask, who’s single?”   
Harry obediently raised his hand as he had been for the past year, but confusedly glanced around as he saw Louis didn’t.  
“Harry! What’s a 19-year-old boy like you doing single? There are so many pretty girls!” the women joked.  
“Uh yeah… that’s me, single,” Harry stuttered, thoroughly distracted by the lack of Louis’ hand being raised. She made her way through the other boys and finally got to Louis at the other end of the couch.   
“So Louis, you’re no longer single?”  
“Uh, that’s right. Haven’t been for a while actually”.  
“Oh? Now you are very open about your sexuality with your fans, so tell me, is it a lucky guy or…?” she questioned.  
“Yeah, yep… a great boy,” Louis responds with a shy smile.  
“Well tell us who it is!” the interviewer prompts.  
“Well we aren’t quite ready to be completely out in public yet, but I’ll just say, I love him a whole lot and the support from the fans means everything,” Louis explained.  
“Well isn’t that the sweetest thing?” she cooed.  
After the interview, Louis found Harry backstage.  
“Haz, how was that? I mean – I listened to what you said. I’m just afraid that you will get hurt. So now I’m out there, we are one step closer at least,” Louis said.  
Harry stared at him seriously, “Thank you, Louis. But I don’t take back anything I said last night”.  
“I know, I’m sorry”.  
They hugged tightly, but the feeling in the pit of Harry’s stomach was only muted, it still lingered, begging for the truth.

“I heard the song you wrote Louis, it was amazing,” Harry said, sitting down next to his boyfriend.  
“Stronger? I wrote it for you, babe,” he said, rubbing Harry’s back lightly as he looked as his computer.  
“I know,” Harry, giggled, “I could tell”.  
Louis smiled, leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder as he continued to scroll through tumblr.   
Harry watched as Louis’ eyes fluttered as he dragged his long fingers through the feathery hear at the nape of Louis’ neck.   
“You wanna know a secret?” Harry whispered.  
“Always”.  
“I wrote Happily about us”,  
Louis rolled his eyes, “That’s hardly a secret, babe”.  
Harry pouted, “I wanted it to be a cute secret”.  
“I knew the first time I heard it,” Louis explained, “Because I feel the same way”.  
“Mhm,” Harry agreed, “I quite like you also,” he commented.  
“It reminds me of our promise, Haz. You and me always”.

Harry’s feelings towards these songs prompted the second public display of affection. Emphasis on the public.  
“Hope you guys are having a great time tonight!” Harry called to the crowd, “This next song is called You and I”.   
He listened as the soft guitar stared and Niall’s voice began to sing. All he could think about as he listened to the lyrics was Louis. He was so lost in thought that he almost missed his entrance at the chorus, but he caught it and turned to sing straight at Louis. The older boy did not notice at first, but Harry needed Louis to know that he truly meant every word he was singing. Once Harry finished his solo, Louis looked over at him, wide eyed, but when it came time for his own solo, he sang directly to Harry. Harry slowly began to walk towards Louis as he began singing again and stopped about 4 feet away from the other boy. They were facing each other, as Harry sang his heart out to his love on stage in the middle of a concert, in front of thousands of people. Harry couldn’t hold it in any longer. As he lowered his microphone, he stared at Louis. He heard the instrumental break start and before he could stop himself, he was surging forward and smashing his lips against Louis’. He was afraid Louis wouldn’t reciprocate, but his fear melted away as he felt Louis rise up on his tip toes and snake his arms tightly around Harry’s neck. Harry wrapped his arms around the small boys waist, picking him up and spinning him around as he smiled into the kiss. Harry was vaguely aware of the other boys continuing the song, but he was too caught up in the beautiful boy in his arms. As the song came to an end, they pulled apart, starring into each other’s eyes. The crowd was cheering so loud, Harry could just make out the sound of his heart beating a million times a minute.   
“This next song,” Louis started, “I wrote for my best friend of 15 years and boyfriend of nearly a year and a half now. We’ve been through a lot, but it seems that we have made it out alive. I still love you, Haz,” he said, extending his hand to his beaming boyfriend.  
“I still love you too, Lou. You and me, always”.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like it! Make sure to leave a comment and let me know what you thought. Also keep a look out for other stories coming soon! Thank you! :)  
> You can find me on tumblr at alittlem0rethunder.tumblr.com or on watt pad and 1dfanfic by the same name on here :)


End file.
